It is usually a shock to discover that your child is mentally challenged. Whether you found out at birth or it took some time to get a proper diagnosis, you still experience the same sense of hurt and grief. While those are normal emotions, you need to overcome them and accept your child’s mental challenges. Acceptance is essential to allow you to be the best parent possible and help your child reach his potential despite the challenges.

Instructions:

• Don’t spend too much time feeling guilty or trying to place blame. When you find out that your child is mentally challenged, your first natural reaction might be to look for a cause in order to make some sense out of the situation. You might blame yourself, looking for things that you could have done differently during your pregnancy, or you might look for an external cause. While it’s normal to want answers, you should be careful not too put too much energy into this area because you need that energy for parenting.
• Focus on your mentally challenged child’s abilities, not his limitations. When you have a mentally challenged child, it’s easy to focus on what he cannot do and the limitations of his potential. It’s much more productive to focus on what he may be capable of and how to nurture him so he can reach his full potential even with the challenges.
• Discuss your child’s mental challenges openly. If you try to hide them and act as though they are shameful, others will respond in the same way. If you are open and discuss the subject frankly and factually, this will help to “normalize” it for other people.
• Be an advocate for your child to make sure she receives all of the services to which she is entitled. Schools are required to provide accommodations for children with mental challenges, although some are reluctant to do so. Pushing for services for your child can help you accept her mental challenges by giving you some power over the situation.
• Join a support group for parents and families of children with mental challenges. It can be difficult to accept your child’s challenges when no one around you understands the situation. Support groups give you contact with other parents who have faced similar situations. They will have empathy and may also have suggestions to help you accept and cope more effectively.